


Letting Go

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Future, Romance, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-16
Updated: 2008-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12068502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Memories of the past are replaced by hopes for the future.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:

Everything you need to know is in the header! Just click =)

* * *

[](http://s254.photobucket.com/albums/hh109/blue_sunrises/?action=view&current=school1-t2.jpg)   


  
**Title:** Letting Go 

**Author:** Izzy

**Rating:** PG-13

**Timeline:** A few years post 513

**Genre:** One-shot

**Summary:** Memories of the past are replaced by hopes for the future

**Disclaimer:** If they were mine, would I be a poor college student? Psshh. 

**Warning(s):** Fluff. Shmoop. =) As if that’s a warning. Come on, it’s long overdue!

**A/N:** Written for the Matchmaking Challenge on [](http://community.livejournal.com/neverenough_bj/profile)[**neverenough_bj**](http://community.livejournal.com/neverenough_bj/) . Thank you to those who helped me out earlier with my question posted on LJ. I bow to [](http://arlengirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**arlengirl**](http://arlengirl.livejournal.com/) , [](http://faramirhaldir.livejournal.com/profile)[**faramirhaldir**](http://faramirhaldir.livejournal.com/), [](http://camjakefan.livejournal.com/profile)[**camjakefan**](http://camjakefan.livejournal.com/), and[](http://proud2bbkjt.livejournal.com/profile)[ **proud2bbkjt**](http://proud2bbkjt.livejournal.com/). And thank you to my friend who always help me decide what to do. *hugs [](http://libertysfic.livejournal.com/profile)[**libertysfic**](http://libertysfic.livejournal.com/) * And of course, a thousand thank yous to the person who designed the banner and actually made me not want to write angst, the brilliant [](http://kari77.livejournal.com/profile)[**kari77**](http://kari77.livejournal.com/) ! The first half of this correlates to the banner, the second part was just me wanting to write shmoop. I'm sure everyone will forgive me *winks* And last but certainly not least, the challenge icon was made by the wonderful [](http://badbadpixie.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://badbadpixie.livejournal.com/)**badbadpixie** . Now on with the show!   
  
 

“Is that the last of it, Mother Taylor?” Brian smirked, tongue-in-cheek. 

 

Daphne shot Brian a withering look from her position on the floor, but continued wrapping up a few more belongings. 

 

Jennifer emerged from the closet, carrying yet another box of trinkets. 

 

Brian groaned at the sight. “What I don’t understand,” he began, as the box was thrust into his hands and as Jennifer disappeared again, “is why you’ve kept all this shit here. I mean, when Justin moved out of the condo, why didn’t you just cram all this into your storage unit?” 

 

Jennifer had finished the closet and took a seat on the couch, boxing random things and giving Brian an exasperated yet piercing look. “You’re just not a mother, Brian,” she said calmly, reaching for masking tape. 

 

“Thank fucking God for that,” Brian interjected, leaning back in his armchair and stretching out his long legs. 

 

Jennifer pretended she hadn’t been interrupted and continued, this time bubble wrapping a blue desk lamp. “Some things a mother never wants to change, or let go of. Keeping her children under her roof is one of them. I kept the guest bedroom set up as ‘Justin’s room’ long after he left, always hoping he’d come back at least for a little while. But he never did.” She clucked her tongue a little, and then smiled at Brian teasingly. “No thanks to you.” 

 

Brian raised an eyebrow. “If I’m not mistaken,” he replied, “I seem to recall you crashing my office and tossing some of the kid’s junk at me.”

 

“Yeah,” Molly grinned, coming out of her room, iPod earphones dangling from her pocket and phone clutched in hand. She cheerily waved to Daphne and stuck her tongue out playfully at Brian.

 

“Brat,” Brian said under his breath. _Too much like Justin_ , he thought fondly. 

 

“Finish your homework?” Jennifer asked sternly. 

 

Rolling her eyes in true teenager fashion, Molly nodded, then sat cross-legged at the foot of the other small couch. 

 

“Then here,” Jennifer handed her daughter the pencil and pad she had been carrying earlier and which had since been lying on a chair, forgotten. “Make sure the checklist is completed.” 

 

With a world weary sigh, Molly took the pad from her mother. She pouted. “Why isn’t Justin doing this shit?” she wondered aloud. 

 

“Language, Molly!” Jennifer said warningly. 

 

Brian smirked again, and Daphne laughed aloud. 

 

“Sunshine’s busy directing all the movers and queening out about the right furniture,” Brian informed the girl. 

 

Molly raised a pale eyebrow. “And you trust him to handle everything?” she asked. 

 

He gave her a smirk. “Sure I do. Those years in New York didn’t just develop the boy’s artist’s eye, but his home decorator’s eye too. He’s got taste, finally.” 

 

Daphne scoffed, and then grinned at Molly. “Your brother told Brian to fire their interior designer.” 

 

Molly gaped at her, but then starting to laugh. “He did?” 

 

“Yeah. Justin said he could do it on his own.” 

 

“And Brian agreed?” 

 

“Duh. Of course!” Daphne replied.

 

Molly made a little whiplash sound and flicked her wrist as if brandishing a whip. She and Daphne burst into giggles. 

 

Brian frowned, not used to being treated as if he weren’t in the room, and displeased at Molly’s implication. 

 

Jennifer laid a comforting hand on Brian’s forearm, trying to fight a smile. She then turned back to what she had been doing. 

 

Scowling, Brian peered into the box he’d been handed earlier. The scowl slowly began to disappear, and became a genuine, affectionate smile, greatly surprising the three ladies present in the room. 

 

Gently, almost as if he were unearthing some hidden treasure (which, in secret, he was, although he’d never admit it), Brian lifted a worn, dusty, obviously much-loved teddy bear from the cardboard box. Even though he knew what it was, he studied the tag anyway. The faded “GUS” in childish, black, block letters confirmed his suspicions.

 

Molly laughed. “Gus.”

 

“So this is the fabled bear I’ve heard so much about,” Brian mused. 

 

Daphne snorted. “Not fabled anymore. I remember that thing. Justin used to carry it with him everywhere when we were kids.” 

 

_“What’s his name again?”_

__

 

__

_“Gus. I’m the one who decided.”_

 

That was one of his favorite memories. He remembered standing there in the shower, already feeling something for the slim, blond twink, as much as he tried to deny it. He remembered trying to concentrate on smooth wet skin and a bubble butt and insatiability. He remembered trying to disregard the different kind of pleasure he’d get when said twink would beam that smile at him.

 

 Brian shook his head, once again rehashing something he’d spent hours thinking about over the years. And yet every time he marveled at the fact that Justin and Gus came to him the same day. If he believed in fate, he’d be having a field day with that one. 

 

For a moment he thought about his son and his smile grew. That kid was really something. Every time Brian saw him, which was at least twice a week, he seemed a bit taller, a bit smarter, and even looked a bit more like him.  

 

Setting aside the bear, but keeping it in his line of sight, Brian then dipped into the box again and pulled out an old sketchpad. 

 

As Jennifer got up to get some Lysol, Brian arched an eyebrow at the two young women still sprawled across the living room. “Think I’ll see any dick doodles?” he said wickedly. 

 

“Brian!” Daphne exclaimed. “Not in front of Molly!” 

 

“Let me see,” Molly squealed, lunging for the pad. 

 

She grumbled as the man got to his feet and held it out of her reach. The girl huffed and took a seat in the armchair he had left vacant. 

 

Brian began flipping through the various sketches, lips once again tugging into a smile, as he saw the beginnings of Justin Taylor, _artiste_ , emerging from the pages. He turned to a page and grinned as he saw the scrawling of a love-struck teenage boy on a few pages; saw his own name written over and over in different sizes. Brian was surprised and maybe even a little disappointed to see that there were no hearts.

 

He didn’t even realize he had closed the sketchpad shut and was now holding it to his chest protectively until he saw the ecstatic looks Daphne and Molly were giving each other. 

 

“What?” 

 

“You love my brother!” 

 

_You so care about me. You love me so much!_

 

“Brat,” Brian muttered once again. 

 

Jennifer had been hearing all of this from down the hall and came back in the living room to attempt to save Brian. Yet she also smiled at the way Brian was holding the sketchpad and the bear, his two new treasured possessions. 

 

“Would you like to keep those, Brian?” Jennifer said kindly. 

 

Brian grumbled, but did not disagree. 

 

 “Hell, just take that whole box. We’ve run out of tape, anyway,” she sighed, eyes scanning the floor and nearby tables. 

 

Yet her mind was on other things. She remembered finding a certain _something_ of Brian’s in Justin’s room, what seemed like a lifetime ago, and remembered damn near almost having a heart attack after she’d unfrozen. 

 

She remembered that page with nothing on it but Brian’s name, which had unnerved her even more. 

 

And she remembered that show at the GLC, which she had decided to attend to prove that Justin still had someone behind him. She remembered the drawing of Brian, remembered her son’s skill, but generally she remembered that impressive penis Justin had so exquisitely portrayed. The sight of it had caused her heart to almost stop beating, and spurred a strange, disturbing sexual vision. 

 

She shuddered, remembering. 

 

But then she remembered Justin coming home from New York. For good. 

 

She remembered Brian looking happier than she’d ever seen him. 

 

And mostly, she remembered the wedding, which had finally come to pass. She had finally been able to weep as she handed her child over to someone, even though she knew she’d done so before, even though she knew she’d probably lost her child to him years before. 

 

She remembered drawing close to Tucker. 

 

And she remembered their smiles. 

 

Daphne noticed that the playful banter had ceased as she focused in on Jennifer, who looked as if she were miles and miles away. She knew the feeling. 

 

Justin Taylor, her best friend. 

 

First and foremost, Justin and she had been closer than close, for as long as she could remember. She could recall Justin never really having anything to do with the boys early on, never wanting to play rough and tumble games, always preferring to sit and chat with her. 

 

She remembered how this prompted taunts from their fellow kindergartners (“Daphne and Justin sitting in a tree…”)

 

Justin Taylor, her first. 

 

Daphne had realized much later that for years she’d wanted that. Not to be sitting in a tree per se, but to be even closer to her friend. 

 

And all that sex talk they’d gotten as they got older, all the health classes and religion classes and whatnot…Daphne remembered thinking about sex. And when she thought about it, she’d never wanted anyone else but Justin. 

 

Justin Taylor, Brian Kinney’s twink. 

 

She remembered the devastation she’d felt when Justin told her that nothing would ever happen between them. She knew, of course she knew. He didn’t belong to her. She had no right to entertain such delusions. 

 

But didn’t everyone fall a little bit in love for their first? 

 

Anyway, she remembered having to let go of the pretty little picture she’d cooked up in her head. Despite ages of telling herself that she would never marry, she found herself thinking that it might not be so bad. If she had Justin. 

 

But she didn’t. Justin Taylor belonged to Brian Kinney. It was the way it was meant to be. And sure, she could still claim the title of Best Friend. But his heart…his heart. 

 

That was Brian’s. 

 

As Daphne leaned back in her chair and let her thoughts run wild, Molly leaned forward slightly, furrowed her forehead, and studied her mother and her brother’s best friend. She’d known them both since she was born, so she felt safe in saying she knew them as well as anyone could. And she knew that they were thinking. 

 

She could see the faraway look in her mother’s eyes, and the wistful expression on Daphne’s face. They were probably thinking about Justin. 

 

Until she was about eight, she’d grown up alongside her older brother, being a brat, poking at his stuff and doing the stuff little sisters did. But then suddenly it seemed like she didn’t know Justin anymore. All of a sudden he didn’t live with them any longer, her dad refused to talk about him, and her parents split up. 

 

She wasn’t stupid, not even when she was a kid. She never blamed Justin for the divorce. Not once. Later she learned everything, the whole story. As if she didn’t know her dad was what tore the Taylor family apart. 

 

But the Taylor family patched themselves up, more or less. Sure, her father would still not accept Justin and probably never would. But though she spent time with him during the designated weekends, she would never, ever forgive her father for what he’d done to her brother. 

 

Her brother deserved the world, after everything he’d been through, after what that retard Chris Hobbes did to him. 

 

Her brother deserved the world, and she knew Brian Kinney would give it to him. 

 

Brian, himself deep in thought as well, was startled out of it when he suddenly saw three pairs of female eyes studying him intently. Not angrily. Just attentively. 

 

“Yes?” Brian asked, bemused by the attention. 

 

Molly slowly took a few steps forward and stopped just inches from where Brian sat. “Brian Kinney,” she said seriously. “We,” she motioned to herself and her mother and Daphne, “are letting him go. But you better not. Not ever.” 

 

The cornered man continued to look puzzled for a moment, then smiled. 

 

 

*                                                                      *                                                          *

 

Darkness fell with the promise of an early winter. The front door was open when Brian stepped out of the car and approached the steps to Britin, box of newly-acquired treasures tucked securely under his arm, but he had a feeling that even if it had been closed, he would have nevertheless been able to hear Justin’s queening. 

 

Brian stood in the doorway of the living room and couldn’t help but smile. He’d been smiling entirely too much that day. 

 

“Please DO NOT drop that! That’s _Italian_ , understand? Brian would be furious if anything were to happen to that.” 

 

The two burly workmen grumbled as they slowed their pace, setting the small table down in a corner. 

 

“…The house must be respectable by tomorrow, the invitations for the house-warming party have already gone out...careful with that vase!” 

 

Brian set the box down lightly in another corner and slowly walked over to his not-so-very Sunshine. He wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist and set his chin on top of the blond head, feeling the tension leave his lover’s body. 

 

“This ferocious display is giving me a very impressive boner,” Brian purred. “Feel it?” 

 

He grinned as he felt a shiver run throughout the smaller man’s body, and when Justin turned to look up at Brian, lust burning in his eyes. 

 

“Everybody out!” 

 

The movers stopped their actions, looking confused. 

 

“OUT! Take five!” 

 

The workmen shrugged and trudged out into the backyard to have a smoke or two or five. 

 

When they were finally alone, Justin bolted the door and smiling salaciously, sashayed over to the soft bearskin rug in front of the fireplace. He plopped down and wriggled out of his clothes. When he was naked, he stretched out on the rug, the pale skin rubbing against the brown fur a marvelous contrast.

 

“Brian…” 

 

As Brian walked over to his husband, shedding his clothes and watching the light from the flames dance across Justin’s skin, he couldn’t help but think back to the scene earlier with the important women in Sunshine’s life. 

 

And as he curled his larger body around Justin’s smaller one, he couldn’t help but chuckle. 

 

Let go? Of Justin? 

 

Brian wasn’t letting go. 

 

Not ever. 

 

It was his last coherent thought for quite some time. 


End file.
